Having your Funeral Service at St James’ ShilbottleWhat better way is there of marking the end of your earthly life than for your body to be brought into Church for a final time so that family, friends and neighbours can thank God for your life and discipleship, pray for you and commit you to God’s safekeeping for all eternity? We would like to encourage all parishioners (whether regular churchgoers or not) to think of ordering things in this way, prior to burial or cremation.Preparing for one’s deathBut even before that, invite the Church to be closely involved in your dying, if you know that it is upon you. We will want to support you with our prayer and practical help; you could have Holy Communion brought to you at home or in hospital; it can become an opportunity for engaging with the living God and allowing yourself to be sustained by him. In the first instance, make contact with the church (01665 575705) so that you can explore all of these issues together and even perhaps make preparations for your funeral service when the time comes.There will also be other things to which you will want to attend:making sure that your Will is as you want it to bedoing what is within your power to mend any broken relationshipsexpressing your thankfulness to God and others precious to youensuring that your family knows what your wishes are as your health deteriorates further and of your preferences about funerals, donations in your memory etc.The Churchyard at St James’ has been closed for some years, though burials of bodies or of cremated remains can be made in existing family graves. We are fortunate in having a fine Cemetery adjacent, which is the responsibility of Shilbottle Parish Council.What needs to be done? When someone dies, it becomes the responsibility of the next of kin (or executor) to register the death and to make funeral arrangements. Funeral Directors will be willing to do much of the arranging for you. Please give them clear direction about where the service is to be held and who should be asked to preside at it.Prior to cremation or burial (traditional or ‘woodland’), a service can be held at St James’ or at a Crematorium, led by our own parish clergy. Occasionally families have asked for a brief service at the Crematorium, followed by a Thanksgiving Service for all friends and neighbours in Church. All of these arrangements can be made between the Funeral Director and the officiating minister.The Minister will always want to meet with the closest family and learn more about the person who has died, and is more than willing to offer and receive suggestions about the funeral service itself.Bereavement is a process that can stretch over some years. The Church wants to offer its support and to encourage the bereaved to use this as a time for renewing their own relationship with God. We can offer friendship as well as pastoral support and spiritual comfort.Each year (usually at the turn of October and November) we invite bereaved families to a Memorial Service at which those who have died in the past year are remembered by name in the prayers. Anyone can also add names to the list of those to be prayed for, in the preceding weeks.Families can ask that the name of someone who has died be entered in the Memorial Book in Church. Donations and gifts in memory are also welcomed: please ask Cynthia Bishop about all of these things.Contact Cynthia Bishop (01665 575705) for further information and enquiries. See also: https://churchofenglandfunerals.org/
What is it all about?Asking to have a child christened of baptised (another name for the same occasion) demonstrates that you want God to have a real influence in the child’s life – not just on Christening Day, but for ever. At Baptism, God pours his Spirit into us (demonstrated by the ‘washing’ with water)and we become truly his (symbolized by being ‘signed’ with a cross).So the person being christened becomes Christ’s and a member of Christ’s family, the Church. Being part of the church and sharing in its worship, learning and service over many years means that we grow in understanding about what it means to be a Christian and are strengthened in our witness and service. What we hope for is to be close to God – now and in Heaven, once this earthly life is over.How can I arrange this?Contact the Vicar, The Reverend Helen O’Sullivan (01665 712002) to talk things through in plenty of time in advance. Normally you must live within the parish of Shilbottle, or attend worship here regularly or have had some contact with the church in the past. We will invite you to come and worship with us, invite you and the godparents to a preparation session and have given you options of when the service can take place.A child being christened, usually has godparents – perhaps up to three, but at least one. Godparents have themselves to have been baptised.What happens after the service?We hope that you will continue to bring your children to worship with us and play a full part as members of the Church family.We can baptize people of any age, though by the age of 12 on-wards, we’d expect this to be followed by Confirmation, usually at the same ceremony.For further information about Baptism, see the Church of England’s website – www.churchofengland.christenings.org We will do our best to make this a joyful and memorable day for you and your family and friends!
The Church recognizes civil marriage: but what makes a Christian marriage distinctive is reflected in the words of the vows that couples make, promising a depth of relationship that puts the other’s needs before our own and inviting God to change both of us for the better. Here too we ask for God’s presence, involvement and blessing within this new life long relationship – not just on the wedding day, but always.This Church is for everyone within the community. We are always glad to receive enquiries from those interested in getting married at St James’. The law allows you to be married here if at least one of you:is resident in the parish has been sufficiently regular in worship over at least six months to have your name entered on the Church membership list called the ‘Electoral Roll’ was baptized or confirmed here has ever lived in the parish for six months or more has at any time, regularly attended worship here for six months or more if one of your parents has lived for six months or more in your lifetime or has regularly attended worship here since you were born if your parents or grandparents were married here or you have been granted a special license, issued only through the Archbishop of Canterbury’s Faculty Office. We can provide appropriate information. People who have been married before and divorcedWe are also willing to explore with couples, one or both of whom have previously been married and now divorced, whether it would be appropriate for you to marry each other in a Christian ceremony. A decision is made based on three areas of enquiry:Whether there is now insight into what caused earlier relationships to founder, and a capacity to ‘be different’ whether continuing responsibilities to children or other dependents are being properly met how much this couple really want to involve God in your marriageThese area have to be explored together in confidence before other arrangements can be made.Civil Partnerships and same-sex marriagesEngland’s laws do not currently allow these events to happen in Church of England buildings. However, we are always willing to pray privately with any parishioners who ask for prayer, as at any other times of great change in life.What needs to be done? Make contact with the Reverend David Cant (01665 575349), to complete the initial forms and talk about dates and times. There is rarely any problem about having a service at a date and time to suit you.The priest who will take your service will explain other legal requirements (eg the calling of ‘banns’); what options there may be for the conducting of your wedding and what the Church part of the day will cost (usually a minuscule amount compared with what other plans for the day might involve). NB Church Weddings don’t have to cost a small fortune! Why not enquire how things could be just as memorable, but simpler and cheaper? – see our leaflet ‘Thinking of arranging a Wedding?’The officiating priest will arrange for you to meet with him/her at intervals, for the clarifying of arrangements and to talk some more together about your hopes and expectations for your marriage.Shortly before the Wedding Day, there will be a rehearsal for all those involved in the service, designed to put participants at ease and to provide an opportunity for sensing the deep significance of the ceremony itself.We are always glad when couples who have married here, continue to be part of the congregation and local community – drawing from God the grace he offers that sustains marriage and forms families.Main contact for Wedding enquiries is the Reverend David Cant (telephone 01665 575349)For further information and advice see https://www.yourchurchwedding.org/
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