I had a moment this week where I behaved in a way I was completely ashamed of. I shouted at someone. The minute it happened, I was overwhelmed with guilt and hit with waves of self loathing. I spoke with someone who dealt with me with understanding and compassion which made me feel worse. I apologised to the person and to God. I know I am forgiven but it is taking me time to forgive myself.It really made me think of the post resurrection appearances of Jesus.Peter had really messed up. Despite his statements to the contrary, he had denied Jesus not once, but three times. He was not really any different to Judas with his betrayal. He, and most of the disciples had deserted Christ and had been hiding in a locked roomThey were living in hard and bewildering times and were afraid. They were not sure what was going on.When Jesus met with them, he did not berate them or shout, nor did he undertake any form of detailed debriefing sessions analysing where the disciples had gone wrong and how they could improve themselves.Instead he met them, where they were, made a fire, grilled fish and spoke to them with compassion.Each of us makes mistakes. Yet God meets us where we are.We are the broken and flawed people of God who he still works through, using our strengths but also our failings.Jesus loves us without bounds, forgives without reservation and forms us into something new.We are God’s. Nothing prevents him from coming to find us and loving us.I often lay awake …I would like to saying thinking deeply…but honestly just worrying.I hate that the places where people have gone to pray and be with God are closed. I know we can be with God anywhere but there is something different about church buildings that can be balm to our souls.I grieve that I can’t be with people.I am heartbroken when I learn that someone I have visited in a local care home has died and I could not be with him, to pray with him and just be there.I worry that people in our community feel unloved and undervalued because no one has phoned them….if that is any of you then please get in touch. You are loved and you are valued but we are operating in a way we have never done before.But I know that God is at work. We are hurtling towards Pentecost where we see the power of the Holy Spirit.So I pray that you will experience the joy of Easter and the excitement of Pentecost.I pray that you will stay well and stay safe.I pray that you will be palpably aware that you are loved by God and by usLove ChristinaPs you are incredibly loved by God.
At the time of writing, and with the country’s lockdown having been extended for a further three weeks till 7th May, it clearly won’t be possible to come together, in Church, or in the community, to celebrate and give thanks for VE Day on 8th May. This is a great shame of course, but what we’ve begun to learn from this unprecedented time (did you know, for example, that the last time Easter Services were “suspended” was in 1213, under King John!) is that with imagination and creativity (both human and technological) there are still so many ways in which we can all come together. This ranges from the communal joining together of hands every Thursday evening, for NHS, Social Care and key workers, to the recording of Services for Facebook and the live-streaming of Services, as well as the use of whatsapp groups and video conferencing for keeping in touch and for meetings. Not to forget as well the wonderful and individual artistic talents of some members of our communities, whose NHS “rainbows” of thanks and hope adorn so many of our windows. There is much to give thanks for, especially in the quiet acts of helpfulness and kindness to those in need, even as we lament not being able to gather together, for services in Church and community events. In the fullness of time though I look forward greatly to a Service of Thanksgiving in Church and a “real” rather than a virtual party! During this month of May we celebrate two of the most important festivals in the Church – the Ascension of Jesus and the descent of the Holy Spirit on the apostles at Pentecost: “I am with you always, even to the end of the age” said Jesus to those first believers, and He says the same to us today, gathered as we will be in our homes rather than in church. And so, for the time being, as I said in my Easter sermon, and have touched on in some of the poems I’ve recently been inspired to write, we need to persevere and to look with hope to the future – for this marathon will come to an end!May God bless each one of us in this coming month.The Revd Alec Brown.
Last month, on St Patrick’s Day, I met with colleagues from the Deanery to talk through lots of issues following the announcements by the Prime Minister, and then the Archbishops of Canterbury and York, concerning the Coronavirus outbreak. I began the meeting by reading Psalm 46 – “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble......” – and I offer those profoundly reassuring and comforting words to everyone now, as we continue to try to make sense of what is happening in our world, and to respond to this global calamity.The following day I met with members of our own Ministry Team and we agreed on a number of actions, taking very much to heart the words of the Archbishops in their letter to all the clergy: “This does not mean that the Church of England has shut up shop. Far from it. We need to look at new ways of serving everybody.......” and “Being a part of the Church of England is going to look very different in the days ahead”. The Archbishops concluded their letter by saying that this was a “defining moment for the Church of England” and I have no doubt that this is absolutely true.The word “unprecedented” has been used many times over the last few weeks to describe the times we are living through now and, when this is all over, we will look back on these times with, I imagine, sheer incredulity and amazement. How could this happen to us in the 21st Century? Some of you may have seen the news piece a few weeks ago about the Derbyshire village of Eyam, which “self-isolated” itself in the 17th Century to better protect its villagers against the plague which was ravaging the whole country at the time. It made for salutory viewing and the interview with the local Vicar, whose 17th Century predecessor had spearheaded those quarantine efforts, was truly poignant, conducted as it was by the reporter with a microphone on a long pole because the Vicar was self-isolating as a result of his wife developing coronavirus like symptoms!For me, and I’m sure I speak for all clergy and ministers of all denominations, the thought of not being able to celebrate with you all the events of Palm Sunday, Holy Week and Easter dispirits me greatly. This is truly an unprecedented situation in any of our lifetimes – but our shared faith and our love and care for one another is what truly counts and really matters in the midst of such uncertainty, fear and anxiety and upheaval. On Easter Day I shall be offering praise and thanks to God for the joy and hope of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, and prayers for every parishioner. We may even have something to live stream on YouTube and Facebook thanks to the technological knowledge and skills of members of the Ministry Team and others (not me I hasten to add!) We have travelled so far, in so many ways, since the plague of the 17th Century and the self-isolation of the village of Eyam – but in the most profound and fundamental ways we are the same as our ancestors, living our lives in faith, hope and love.May God’s richest blessing be with you all.Alleluia. Christ is Risen! He is Risen indeed. Alleluia!The Revd Alec Brown.
Dear friendsI have decided to move to Ambridge as it appears the only place where there is no worry about Corona virus. I had my April musings written in my head but life has changed so much since my initial thoughts.I feel like my heart is breaking. As humans we are social animals and this need to self isolate feels so hard. I love to hug and avoiding any type of physical contact is incredibly difficult. I see my parents every day and communicating through the sitting room window is just not the same.As a priest, I love leading worship and presiding at Holy Communion – neither of which is possible at the moment within the church building. Another love of mine is to meet people and walk alongside them on the journey we call life, My School has closed and we cannot meet in church. I can no longer visit hospitals or care homes. These activities feed my soul and give me joy. To me there is no greater privilege than to hold someone`s hand and to pray with them. We may become more technologically adept over the next few months but I miss being physically present.If there is ever a moment that you want to chat – please call me. I can pray, listen or just talk. <span style="font-size: 1rem;">We are people of faith. Let us not forget that we are Easter people. There was the utter darkness of Good Friday when the world could not have been darker but that darkness was transformed on Easter Day.</span>Jesus told us over 100 times not to be afraid. Go on You tube and listen to Nadia Bolz Weber speak about this. She says that the opposite of fear is not bravery but love. We need to follow the advice to self isolate but we should still try and squeeze every drop of living out of life and appreciate the good things and people around us. My prayer for everyone is from 1 John 4 v 18 - Perfect love casts out all fear.When the world looks hopeless we are to be hope filled.Look at Psalm 23, Hebrews 13v 8. Romans 8 to name but 3 passages.In the dark of the night meditate on these things.I pray that each of us can find joy this Easter.All my love Christina
