Leonardo da Vinci’s great masterpiece, The Last Supper, took years to complete. One of Leonardo’s problems was to find a suitable model for the figure of Judas. He searched the streets in vain for someone whose face could express the pain and anger of the betrayer. One day, he spotted a face that seemed familiar; it was the man who, years before, had modelled the figure of Jesus – Pietro Bertalini, yet the years had changed him from a beautiful young man into an angry, bitter old man. His face told a story of a man who had failed to move on and still held on to the past.Judas and Peter both betray Jesus, but one is transformed by the experience of failure the other is destroyed. Peter is able to move on, but Judas is caught up in a web of his own making. In Peter, we see the face of a man, humbled by his failure, but released by love to embrace a new life. In Judas, we see the face of a man broken by failure because he is unable to receive the forgiveness that could have saved him.Journeys: Jesus speaks to his disciples about the journeys we must take. On these journeys, there are places where we stop. These may be resting places or decision points in life where we change direction. These are important moments in our lives where choices must be made that will determine our future.Despair to hope: Both Peter and Judas made journeys during Easter week from elation to despair, from hope to confusion, but they made different choices that were to determine their future. Both wept tears at their failure, but Peter’s were the tears of repentance and Judas’s were the tears of bitterness. Why was it that Judas was not able to find new hope and life after his act of betrayal?A new commandment: In our journeys towards God, there will be times of confusion, doubt, even despair, when we seem to be stuck or at a turning point. It is from these places that God wants us to move on. This is the point at which neither Peter nor Judas can move on until they have heard ‘The new commandment’ - “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”John 13: 34.Love: Easter teaches us about God’s love for us, and we see it in Christ's death and resurrection. To understand and receive that love is to move on and be changed; to refuse that gift and remain unchanged is to fail to grow and ultimately to die. That is why Jesus says to Peter, “You cannot come where I am going.” Before he can move on, he must repent and receive the love that will release him. Tragically, Judas fails to understand that God can transform our failures into the means of His grace. Judas does not move on, but Peter is led forward into a new life.The Gospel of Judas? In the recently discovered Gospel of Judas, Jesus commands Judas to betray him to make possible the means of grace by which mankind will be saved. This is no gospel of love, for God’s love makes possible the life of love that is the way of Christ.The journey ahead is marked with a signpost: “love one another as I have loved you.”Rev Simon Brignall
Three wise Elders were discussing where to hide God. The first wise Elder said that God should be hidden on the farthest star, but the second feared that one day men would travel to space and reach that star, and God would be discovered. “Let’s put God at the bottom of the deepest ocean,” He said. The third elder thought for a time and finally she spoke, saying that she could foresee the day when men would search the ocean floor, and God would be found. So, after some further thought, the three agreed that the only place where God could be hidden was inside each person. “No one will ever discover God there.”The hidden GodThis strange story contains a grain of truth – God is hidden. He is not to be found in the stars. As Yuri Gagarin, the first astronaut, reported: “I have been to space and did not see God”. Nor is he to be found in the expanse of the Earth as the comic Woody Allen once quipped: “If God were to poke his head out from a cloud, I would believe.” God is indeed hidden, but can be found within each one of us. Jesus says as much: “Is it not written in your law, 'I have said you are gods” John 10: 34. God may be discovered within each one of us, but remains elusive.God is elusive in the sense that God is much bigger than we can imagine, and yet contained in a human frame. Elusive in the sense that we can never pin God down or catch him out, and as we discover in this reading, elusive in the sense that before God is found, we must search.Words, Works, and WorshipJesus revealed himself as God in all these ways, yet he remained beyond their grasp, so they could not pin him down. So they came to him and asked: “How long will you keep us in suspense?” If you are the Christ, tell us plainly,” John 10: 24. How frustrating! How unfair! But is it true to say that Jesus fails to provide us with what we need to believe?The scientific method demands evidence before it looks for proof. Evidence points us in a certain direction; the proof follows as we put our beliefs into practice. There are some people who, of course, deny the evidence; climate change would be a good example. The failure to believe the evidence is usually because we have other priorities: the cost to the economy might be cited in the case of climate change.So, what is the evidence of Jesus’ claims? The evidence he points to is clear for all to see. First, he points to his work, then his words, and finally, as we follow the evidence, we discover the proof in the worship that is the outworking of belief.He once asked, “Can a demon open the eyes of the blind?” To most who knew him, his works clearly pointed to someone who did the work of God. When some heard his words, they accused him of blasphemy, and yet Jesus points out, “Is it not written in your own law ...the one the Father has set apart as his very own Son and sent into the world? John 10: 36.In Jesus, we recognise the work of God. In Jesus, we recognise the words of God, but it is only in worship that we can discover for ourselves the truth of those claims. As we recognise him as the Christ, so he reveals himself to us. As we put our faith in him and believe his words and do his works, so he gives us the proof. As St. Bernard says, “God has no better gift to give to those who seek Him than Himself.”
One of my favourite books to dip into for a good story is ‘Heroic Failures’, written in 1979 by Stephen Pile, it is a collection of true stories about how often we all mess up!Here is part of his preface to Heroic Failures:‘To all those who have written terrible books on how to be a success. I dedicate this terrible book on how it’s perfectly alright to be incompetent for hours on end. I am, and so is everyone else I know.Success is overestimated; everyone craves it despite daily proof that man’s real genius lies in quite the opposite direction. Incompetence is what we are good at. It is the quality that marks us off from the animals, and we should learn to revere it.’The book is now being updated, so let me share some of the new stories, all true, I believe. Consider the following:Lost Luggage!A man who had just returned home from holiday had his luggage thrown away by dustmen. Phil Newbon from Spalding, Lincolnshire, left his luggage on the pavement as he returned home, and when he glanced back, he realised it was being crushed by grinders inside the back of their dustcart. His clothes, mobile phone, sat-nav, digital camera, and gifts for family and friends were destroyed. Even his duty-free was being crunched up.Phil, who says the total value was £1,600, said, 'I couldn't believe my eyes. I only left my bags there while I chatted to a pal after getting a lift back from the airport. Then they were gone, and everything was being smashed to pieces. I thought I was being set up for a TV stunt. The council told me people often leave suitcases out for collection, and I'm sure that's true. But I doubt they have 25kg of luggage inside, tags still attached, and a bag of hand luggage and duty-free next to them.'Phil is now trying to get compensation from South Holland council, Lincs, England, but says he has been told he will not get a penny in compensation.Peter’s Failures:Whether we want to laugh or cry, we can recognise ourselves in others’ failures. Peter, like most of us, is the victim of ‘overestimation’. Peter seems to have had a very high opinion of himself, but his strengths were also his weaknesses!At Caesarea Philippi, he shows both great faith and great faithlessness as he both confesses Jesus as the Christ and a moment later attempts to silence him.In the Garden of Gethsemane, he attempts to defend Jesus violently, and yet a few hours later, he is shamed by a servant girl into denying Jesus.As a Fisherman he prides himself as skilled and hardworking; he talks of working all night, and yet both here in the account we have in John’s gospel, and in the other gospels, we see him fail to catch anything.As an Apostle, he failed to follow through on the special revelation that he had been given about ‘the Clean’ and ‘the Unclean’, a division that separated the gentile converts from the Jewish converts.Both Peter’s strengths and weaknesses were a part of his personality, and the best and the worst of Peter’s personality could be summed up by his words to Christ before the event of Holy Week:“Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you,” Matthew 26:35.Learning to love ourselves:Peter has a poor understanding of his own weaknesses, but this low point in his life is at the same time the point of growth. Peter’s desire is to follow Jesus, and yet he must learn that:Following Jesus has nothing to do with self-confidence: “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.”Peter’s focus is on what he will do. It’s all Peter. Our faith can never be in what we can do, only in what Jesus can do in us.Following Jesus has nothing to do with Rash Resolutions: “Even if I have to die for you, I will never disown you”.Peter commits himself to a course of action that he is not able to fulfil because he is blind to his own weakness.Our faith in Christ requires us to be aware of our own weakness so that we can draw on Christ’s strength.Following Christ has nothing to do with empty enthusiasm:Peter’s brave words are rendered empty by the simple question put to him by a servant girl. The word ‘Enthusiasm means to be filled with God, here we find that Peter is filled with hot air, not God.So we can see why Peter crashes, he is putting his trust in the wrong person, but this is the growth point of Peter’s life because at the point in the story that we reach today he has a last come to the place where he is able to say: “I have failed!” Only at this point is Jesus able to teach him about trust.The Re-Institution of Peter.As we listen in on Jesus' conversation with Peter, we hear the words “Do you love me?” Jesus asks the question three times. Why?Well, we know that Peter denied him three times, and yet Jesus has not given up on him. With each question comes the reinstatement of Peter as Pastor of the flock.Jesus knows the worst of Peter and the best of Peter, he loves him not because of his strengths, nor abandons him because of his weaknesses, he loves him for himself.Peter, at last, is able to recognise this, in response to the last question, he says, “Lor,d you know all things, you know that I love you.”Jesus knows Peter’s heart; he knows his love for him, and Peter no longer feels he has to prove it. The purpose of Jesus' questioning is not to discover Peter’s heart but to reinstate him.Jesus' love, his forgiveness is the beginning of Peter’s spiritual growth. Peter had put his trust in the wrong person. Now he knows who to put his trust in. It is Jesus’ love that transforms Peter into the person whom we now regard as a hero of the NT.From Self-Pity to Self-Knowledge through the acknowledgement of failure.From Self-Confidence to Service through the acknowledgement of failure.From Self-Centred to Sacrifice through faith in Jesus Christ, who loves him better than he loves himself.Is it alright to be a Failure?Maybe you think failure is the wrong word for our human weaknesses. Jesus certainly never uses the word of anyone.There is another way of understanding ourselves, not as failures but as fools. That is a word that is used of us in Paul’s letters!Here is an extract from Stephen Pile's book – Heroic Failures“Clowns are not in the centre of events,” he says. They appear between the great acts, fumble and fall, and make us smile again after the tensions created by the heroes we admire. The clowns do not have it together; they do not succeed in what they try, they are awkward, out of balance, and left-handed, but they are on our side, we respond to them not with admiration but with understanding, not with tension but with a smile.Of the virtuous, we say,’ How can they do it? Of the clowns, we say, ‘they are like us… the clowns remind us with a tear and a smile that we share the same human weakness’Peter, then a Fool for Christ – From Failure to Fool through the touch of Jesus Christ, who leaves Peter not a different person, but now, like Paul, he hears these words spoken to his wounded heart.‘For my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. That is why for the sake of Christ, I delight in human weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, for when I am weak, then I am strong …. For my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’2 Corinthians 12:10
What do you see? A table with oranges and lemons, a bowl of apples. To the side, there is what looks like a large basket or bowl with a printed pattern, balancing that, there is an angular vase with what, I think, is a Japanese design. An empty wine glass draws our gaze to the centre of the painting.The clue to understanding this painting is to know that Cezanne did not paint what he saw but interpreted what he saw in the light of his deeply held religious beliefs. The world that we see may look random and sometimes chaotic, but underneath, there is harmony and order, balance and beauty.It may be just my imagination, but I see the Japanese vase and decorated bowl as speaking to this understanding of nature. The Japanese garden is a distillation of perfect forms designed to lead us to look beneath the surface of things to their inner reality. It is a place to meditate on the harmony of nature. It is that inner reality captured in a random collection of fruit that makes this painting a statement of Cezanne’s belief in the beauty of all things.What did Thomas the doubter see? Clearly, he saw what was in front of him, the figure of Jesus, still displaying his wounded head, hands, feet, and side. It spoke to him of his complicity in the death of Jesus, his responsibility with the other disciples who deserted him. It would have been a bit like the encounter between Macbeth and the ghost of Banquo. The guilt and pain of Jesus' betrayal would have been too much for Thomas to bear.DesperateThe disciples were desperate men and women after the crucifixion. Hiding way for fear of the mob and the religious police, but desperate, too, because all their hope and dreams were now gone.Disillusioned.They were also disillusioned men and women. Yes, Jesus to them seemed like a fraud. He had promised so much and achieved so little. To Thomas, maybe these stories of a risen Jesus seemed just a little too much like wish fulfilment.Doubters.The death of Jesus had made the teaching of Jesus seem like empty rhetoric. The new life he had talked about was not stronger than death, and now the disciples had to face up to their meaningless existence. They were all doubters, and the last person they expected to meet was Jesus.Thomas the Doubter.It wasn’t because the men didn’t believe, it was because they didn’t dare to believe. They had tried it all before and failed. Why should they now believe the words of the women who had come from the tomb? They were all doubters, but Thomas was given that name because he wanted explanations.He wanted to believe, he wished it were true, but how can you start again when everything you trusted has collapsed around you?Fresh Eyes.I believe he needed to see Jesus with fresh eyes. A bit like looking at our picture for a second time. Despite his own sense of failure, his disillusionment, Thomas’s feelings of guilt, as for the other disciples, were not so much the sight of the risen Jesus, but of the wounded hands, feet, and side of the risen Jesus.The wounds of JesusWhen Jesus first appeared to the disciples, we read that he showed them his hands and side, and when he met with Thomas, he said:“Put your fingers here, see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe” John 20:27It was the sight of the wounds that transformed the doubting Thomas and inspired him to say: “ My Lord and my God”Martin Luther once said, “If you want to understand Christianity, you must start with the wounds of Christ.”AcceptanceWhat was it that these wounds said? A few days beforehand, they said death and defeat. They were evidence of man’s evil and death’s power. But now, as Thomas looked, those same wounds said something quite different.When Jesus showed Thomas his hands and his side, he did not say, “Look what you have done”. No, instead, he greeted Thomas with the words “Peace be with you.”Because the wounds of Christ, which were and are the signs of our sin are also the signs of God’s wonderful love for us. His acceptance of us.AuthorityWhen Thomas saw the print of the nails in his hands and the gash that the spear had made in his side, he knew that the marks of defeat were in fact the signs of victory. Proof that God had conquered the powers of darkness and death and established His Kingdom of Peace.AuthenticityAs Thomas had seen the nails driven into the hands of Jesus, he had been tempted to believe all that Jesus had ever said was an illusion, but now he saw those wounds in a fresh light and he realised that they did not disprove all that Jesus had said but authenticated it.He had asked for proof, and now he had it. He had it, not because he saw the risen Christ, but because he realised that the risen Christ was the crucified Christ and that the crucified Christ had made possible all that Jesus had spoken of, and promised.‘So that you might believe’.And so, John writes that ‘These things are written so that you might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name’. John 20:31Thomas was not the first doubter nor the last. Each day, our own failures condemn us. Each day, our hopes are dashed, our faith fades, and we are tempted to doubt. Each day we feel betrayed, let down by God, and tempted to doubt His word.When we do, we need to focus on the wounds of Christ.It is there that in our despair, we find acceptance.It is there that in our disillusionment we will be reminded of God’s authority.It is there that our doubts will turn to faith as we discover that Jesus will never fail us or forsake us.
