Hello all,

As we enter the Remembrance season it is wonderful to remember that for 80 years the Barton Branch of The Royal British Legion has been keeping alive the memory of those who laid down their lives for us and for our freedoms.

One of those freedoms, is our opinions, views and thoughts. And because we are all different, our opinions, views, thoughts and indeed our values can be very different from person to person. We also have the freedom to disagree with one another. 

The difficult thing, I find, is to disagree well! 

Tolerance of difference is often thought of to be a virtue, but I'm not so sure. Firstly, tolerance says, "I profoundly disagree with you, but to keep the peace, I am going to allow you your view" and secondly "I will NOT allow my view to be affected or changed by yours because you are wrong and I am right." Both cynical, condescending and arrogant responses. 

At worst tolerance may mean appeasement, which did nothing to bring about peace in 1939 and at least, tolerance seeks not to upset. But I would rather people have integrity and be honest with me if they disagree with me rather than tolerate me for a quiet life. I seek the truth and am very happy to admit when I am wrong and it's others' views that will help me grow into the truth so long as they don't just tolerate me! 

Perhaps tolerance is not what is needed to disagree well because there is no space for any vulnerability? To disagree well, we should allow the other to be different and try to understand why there is a difference. We should seek to understand things from the other's perspective and be vulnerable enough and willing enough to grow into a new understanding and hold onto the possibility that we may be changed by such encounters. 

Perhaps we won't be changed and the disagreement will continue, and that is alright, so long as we continue to defend the right of the other to be different. Disagreeing well like this isn't easy; it takes effort to listen and to try to understand, it is self-sacrificial, but the sacrifices we make in this way are nothing compared to the sacrifices made, by those we remember at this time, to ensure this freedom of difference. In fact, it might be the best thing we can do to honour their sacrifice and memory! 

I am reminded of the story of Jesus' encounter with the Syrophoenician woman (Matthew 15.21-28 - why not look it up) where a profound, in fact hostile, disagreement ended with Jesus' own understanding of himself, and his mission being changed by this encounter with this very different person! 

Peace isn't just the absence of conflict and tolerance of difference isn't peace - peace only happens when we work hard and choose not to resort to violence in any form and seek to understand the perspective of the other! 

Please do join in with the various Acts of Remembrance that will be taking place around the village in November. 

Yours in Christ,

Rev Andy +